My husband has a problem… Some might call it an obsession, a fixation, or even an addiction. I’m a bit embarrassed to address this problem so openly because from the outside Damon appears to be a well-balanced, seasoned traveler. But I feel like it’s best to bring this issue to light instead of hiding it in the dark cabinets of our master bathroom.
Damon is a hotel toiletry hoarder.
Sure, I’ve been known to pocket a small bottle of shampoo and conditioner when I stay in a hotel that uses Aveda products or something, but his uncontrollable desire to take the hotel toiletries goes far beyond the expensive brands. Damon will take any and all of the hotel products … The soap, the shower gel, the shampoo, even the body lotion, which is typically runny, watery and practically useless.
In fact, when we are in a hotel, before housekeeping comes each morning he will pack up all the toiletries so that they will leave new fresh bottles for him to add to his collection.
And I just pray we never again have to walk by an unattended housekeeping cart filled with products. It is like taking an alcoholic into a liquor store… He can’t control his urges to snatch up as many of those tiny, sleek bottles as his pockets will hold.
I don’t know if this is a common problem that just goes undiscussed. Perhaps there is a hotel toiletry hoarder in every family, but no one talks about it. I think it’s time to bring this issue out into the open, so people like Damon don’t have to hide their addiction… So they’ll have the support of fellow hotel toiletry hoarders along the long, difficult road toward overcoming this obsession.
I propose we all open up our bathroom cabinets and normalize hotel toiletry hoarding once and for all. If you or someone you know is a hotel toiletry hoarder, there is no need to be ashamed. This blog is a safe place where we can discuss your fixation with miniature soaps without fear of judgment or ridicule.
As for Damon, he has come a long way. On our last vacation, he didn’t take a single bottle of shampoo, conditioner or overly runny lotion… That I know of. I was incredibly proud of him.
As the wife of a hotel toiletry hoarder, I feel it’s my duty to keep our bathroom cabinets from looking like the hotel housekeeping cart. So I’ve started pouring all of the tiny hotel shampoos into his larger shampoo bottle in our shower. Mainly because we’ve run out of room in our bathroom drawer. But who knows, maybe Damon’s stockpile of hotel products will end up saving us a lot of money in personal grooming expenses. Perhaps, we will someday save enough money to pay for an entire vacation, where inevitably he will replenish his supply of tiny toiletries.