I’ve always been a fairly clean person. (Although my husband would tell you otherwise.) I make my bed every day; I put the laundry away immediately after washing it; there are never dirty dishes in my sink, and each week I strip the bed linens, wash them and put them back on the beds. My husband is the same way. In fact, he is the cleanest man I know. (Although he does have a tendency to throw things in cabinets without neatly stacking them.) While most of my girlfriends complain about their husbands being slobs, I just don’t have that issue, and I consider myself fortunate.
Even with a toddler who has made it her mission to destroy the house daily, our home remains fairly clean. Avery loves to pull out all of the Tupperware from the cabinets and toss the plastic containers as far as she possibly can. She then proceeds to pull out all of the pots and pans and bang on them. Afterwards, she will toddle into her room, remove every single book from the shelf, then emptying her basket of bows onto the ground. This routine happens multiple times a day. Yet the house is completely picked up and organized before we go to bed.
But here is where the story takes a turn. We are NOT this way on vacation. We are hotel slobs. The minute we unzip our suitcases, it’s like the pressurization from the airplane trip there causes the content to explode all over the room. There are clothes strewn everywhere, toiletries completely cover the bathroom vanity. And it just gets worse the longer we stay. If we are in the same hotel for a full week, the room looks like an episode of “Hoarders” by the time we leave. There will be piles on top of our piles.
I don’t know why we are this way. Every hotel that we’ve stayed in has a closet or at least a chest of drawers where we could, if we wanted, neatly place our clothes. But no. Somehow, on vacation, we become different people. Suddenly, it’s acceptable to pile our crumpled clothes on a chair or a table (discreetly tucking any undergarments at the bottom of the pile, of course). Suddenly, it’s completely appropriate to create a large shrine made up entirely of grooming products on the counter in the bathroom. And that heaping pile of soggy towels on the floor? We’d never leave them there at home.
We’ve become even messier since traveling with a toddler. Avery is into everything! So imagine the aforementioned scenario of her daily routine taking place in a hotel room, except instead of picking it all up before we go to bed, I leave it there!
I’ve always wondered what the cleaning staff thinks of us when they enter our messy home-away-from-home. They probably would never guess that we are the kind of people who vacuum, sweep, and clean the hardwood floors every other day. (A necessity with a toddler and two dogs.) They probably would never guess that in our own house, all of our clothes are actually hung up, and on wooden hangers nonetheless… In fact, they probably think we don’t even know how to use a hanger.
I also wonder what the cleaning women are like in their own homes. Are they organized? Are their houses spotless? Or, are they actually the opposite? I mean, come on, after spending all day cleaning up messy hotel rooms, would you want to go home and clean? Perhaps, they too have a crumpled up pile of clothes sitting in a chair, or a heap of soggy towels lying on the bathroom floor. If so, I won’t judge… In fact, I probably made them that way.
So, to the cleaning staff in hotels around the world, I commend you. Thank you for never leaving us an ugly note telling us that we are disgusting pigs.